someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
