his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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