He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
