shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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