Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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