either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
