It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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