Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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