hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
