If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
