i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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