I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
