There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
