I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
