Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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