let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need to calm my uterus...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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