You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
