Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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