Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
