Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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