In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i dont even know how to be here
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
