took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
