He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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