Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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