I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
