The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
