Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
