Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
