i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
