Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I just sharted jello shots
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