I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
