If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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