it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
