He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
