He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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