We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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