He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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