Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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