So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
COCAINE IS GR8
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
