So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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