We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
