Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
