Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
