i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
