I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
