Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
