Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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