It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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