omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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