party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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