I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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