I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
