Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
