It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
