I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
