I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
