But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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