I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
